home depot tv

oops, sorry about that home depot. ha. i can't take credit for that doozy. someone had to have tried pretty hard to do that, twice. well at least you weren't doing much of anything with them but show your logo, so not a big loss.

pumpkins on rocks

throwing a couple pumpkins on your rock garden driveway centerpiece is only half-assed halloween spirit. carve the damn things. you did for the ones in your lobby.

lone star waffle

as crappy as my hotel was (and it was) it did afford this one treat on their otherwise banal continental breakfast. a waffle iron in the shape of the lone star state, hot and ready to make a waffle of great sadness. i wonder if this hotel chain has a special made waffle iron in the shape of all the states they have operations in? someone needs to do a roadtrip to investigate. but don't stay at the hotels themselves when you do, that would make the trip suck. i'm trying to picture some states and how their waffles would look. hawaii seems like a challenge. rhode island would be pretty pathetic. florida would be like eating a penis waffle.

carpet only texas could do

only in texas can a carpet like this exist. so big, and so gaudy. it's actually impressive when you think about how big this complex is (and it's massive) and this carpet is wall to wall. another point to note, this isn't some legacy carpet from the 70's or 80's, this hotel finished being built in 2003. so even in this day of timeless and reasonably styled fashion, this carpet still made it to market.

cloud carpet

taken somewhere over the middle of new york state, we were above the clouds. cumulus clouds i believe they are.

trashed printer

looks like someone was walking down the street, saw a trash can and decided to go through his pockets to get rid of some garbage and along with some lint, a bank receipt, he found a printer that he could part with, dumped it, then went along his way.

ichaptersbucks

chapters just got a little more elitist and pretentious (the first move in that direction was the addition of starbucks) with the addition of these fancy new apple kiosks. i don't understand why they would go to such considerable expense to make the kiosks macs when you can't do anything on them for why macs are actually good and they've completely hidden the fact they are macs. another victory for sensibility.

state your intentions

i do love a weak attempt at compliance that is so transparent, it actually serves to mock those who it is trying to appease. where is the option of "i will be using this to steal copyrighted material and take directly from the profits of record company big wigs"? because i'd select that just so i can get another attempt at fraudulating my intentions after a statement to the effect of "are you sure, downloading copyrighted content is illegal. (just say you won't and go about your business). please state your intentions again." congratulations limewire for making the only option the right one (ie. the one they want us to select), the riaa applauds your efforts. people who use limewire have about as good of intentions as a horny 16 year old, with a new license, a bottle of schnapps he stole from his father's liquor cabinet, and a girl his friends told him was easy.

cookie delight

these are, without a doubt, the greatest cookies in the world. i mean, how can you go wrong with such a combination of goodness. you've got a terrific sugar cookie as the base, coated in caramel on the top, with an ample dusting of toasted coconut and a drizzle of chocolate to top it all off. i never think to buy them and it's just as well because it would only serve to make them less special if i ate them all the time. sometimes i'm just walking down the aisle and the box shouts screams at me to buy and i obey.

big cans o light

while this lighting array is quite cool, it needs one more thing. the light needs to shine as logo or bottle or something. kinda like a bat signal for drunks.

october snow

so it snowed today in my neck of the woods. i'm not that far north for christ's sake. i know it's hard to believe because it's frickin october, but scroll over the image and i've highlighted some of the snow for you. i do not like this one iota. in fact it sickens me. i would have actually upchucked something if it accumulated.

tom pepper mystery

i can't seem to connect all the pieces of this crude epitaph in the sidewalk. first there is tom pepper, he of the mark twain novel 'remarkable dream' who was "such a preposterous liar that he couldn't get to heaven and they wouldn't have him in hell." then there's peeping tom, who as far as i can tell, was not a nickname for tom pepper in the novel (please correct me if i'm wrong as i haven't read it). tom pepper, coincidentally, was the name of the character in seinfeld who stole kramer' raisins, but lied about doing so. however, the peeping tom and the date have a connection. peeping tom was a horror movie from the 60's that was critically panned, but saw a resurgence in interest when martin scorsese helped it find an audience. the original release date was may 15th, but that was 1962, it went to video though in 1980. that's all i've got, or rather, all i could gleen from google.

what's behind the door?

a laudable marketing campaign on display here. ballet slippers dangling from various trees, and signposts, flyers strewn everywhere, all culminating in an audacious red door that is sure to arrest you. for all it's attention grabbing, i still don't know what it's for. guess it wasn't that good

hipster hippocrite

you can't read the patch on his jacket to the left, but it says "capitalism kills." how fitting for someone who so brazenly adorns himself with a logoed guinness bag that so epitomizes the free market. the other patch, by the way, reads "meat is murder." those shoes appear to be of some type of leather. i can't believe this guy is just trying to be ironic, rather just that oblivious.

coffee carpet

do people in our office really have that much difficulty in balancing their beverages? apparently they do. really classes up our joint.

road pumpkin

how cute, someone threw a pumpkin onto a road excavation site. my guess is the union slackers will make this a part of the road. it wouldn't be much fun for them not to. i'd just like to have seen someone walking by who heaved this over the 8 foot fence and maybe ask him why he had a spare pumpkin to donate to the construction.

a comic (book) future

in these days of economic dowturn, the only safe investment isn't gold or guaranteed treasury bills, it's comic books. this guy is staking his financial future on a ruined world having the money to buy comics. truly visionary. as bold as his vision is, his marketing needs a rebuff. you're talking to nerds with comic books and you're wasting time with plastering these untyped, kiddie posters around the city? it's called the internet and comic book nerds are known to use it now and then.

pumpkin pie soft serve

if this is dq's idea of getting in the thanksgiving spirit, then they should get out of the spirit business. who could gag this abhorrent concoction down? those lumps, i think their pie crust chunks for that authentic pumpkin pie feel. part of loving pumpkin pie is loving the creamy texture, and you dq, just pooped all over that with this. next year, close up shop early, call it a season, and don't try to extend it with this ill-conceived failure of ice cream. for the cost of this blizzard, i could go down the street to loblaws and get a can of pumpkin pie filling which i'd rather spoon into my mouth than this.

beheaded barbie

it looks like the feminist ranks just grew. some young'un tossed out their barbie and all the subjugation, gender roles, inequality, superficiality, and body image baggage that goes with it.

ghetto blaster

i guess boomboxes from the ghetto are making a comeback. you'll certainly be in style swaggering down the street with this hefty speakerbox atop your shoulder. what, no tape deck for old times sake?

open and close hat

this is perhaps the dumbest hat i've ever seen. i don't get what the purpose is of having a variable aperture. especially when it can never fully close. then there's just how silly it looks with the hole, the drawstring, and shiny material. if anyone bought this hat, i'm sorry. sorry that you bought this hat.

archway redux

i commend the architects for melding the old building with the new one by copying the seemingly pointless archways with modern materials. it really ties it together.

pink ball

what happens when you bowl and drink (not necessarily in that order) is that the gutter start accumulating random balls as you start to do stupider things with them. i don't personally. never.

washroom art

you know you've made it when your art is featured in the washroom of the restaurant at the r.o.m. just say you're in the r.o.m., leave it at that, don't mention the other part. it counts for something. and i'm not trying to make something out of nothing, it had it's own little plaque explaining who the artist was and the subject. ideally, it should be placed above the urinals so people can really spend some time with it and take it in.

complaint department

if only i could have blown this place up.

just don't

yeah, just don't do it. at all. ever. anything. whatsoever. don't you dare. never.

barefoot ladies

i can understand that your feet hurt after a night of walking the city, soaking up all the nuit blanche toronto had to offer, but i can't understand why walking barefoot around the city could be a better option. enjoy your ringworm ladies.

a day at the races

i can't recall which horse i had in this race, but i am sure that it wasn't the winner.

mcduceppe

good strategy here by the bloc quebecois. if you can't buy your own advertising space, then just plaster it on someone else's.

hey dj, play that song

here we have samantha ronson, the latest dalliance of a confused lindsay lohan, fresh from her sunny romp with said starlett to play a gig in toronto. she was the guest dj (sans lohan) at a media party for microsoft. it seems her newly acquired star status as a result of bumping uglies with a career ditch pig (read: publicity stunt) doesn't get her any better gigs than a crappy advertising party. i have to say what a poor job she did. so she's a dj right? i say a glorified mc at best, at worst a lame 80's retro radio station or a mix tape you'd give to someone stuck in the worst decade humanity has ever shat out. the show was a steady parade of party favorites any hack wedding dj could purchase from an infomercial, with an intermittent swish of a digital turntable to earn her what little dj cred she has. the difference is a hack wedding dj still takes requests, but samantha ronson is a stratosphere above that as her muscle wouldn't let anyone within 7 feet of her highness and she paid no mind whatsoever to any of the nearing middle age drunk ladies so smitten with her awesome set list wanting to talk to her or have a picture taken with her to attain some paltry connection with a pseudo-celebrity. i say ride it out samantha. take it for all it's worth so you can at least be somewhat comfortable when you plunge back into obscurity after lindsay gets over her identity crisis and drop-kicks you to the curb like so much van damme.

busted neon

traffic on bloor @ church has been horrendous for months now as they do various repairs and build infrastructure for hte ginormous new condo/business building they are constructing and this incident takes that to a whole new level. blame the congestion for the traffic and blame the accident for making that congestion worse.