duct tape bannister

now, i'm not in construction so i'm certainly no expert in the matter, but this execution of a railing seems to fall short of code. not by much, but some. i give duct tape all kinds of credit, but when it's attached to unsecured posts just resting atop the ground it should be built into, i have to downgrade my expectations that someone won't topple this and take a big faceplant.

leper mannequin

they just don't make mannequins creepy like they used to. inquisitive, fingerless, pyjama-wearing, marjuana-eyed kid clones are so passe. 

barber shop bar

lucky the person who gets this seat. on a side note, amsterdam was so close to being sexually clever. just missing an 's' at the end of 'bucket of blonde.' instead, it's just about the beer, and that will simply not do.

made in hell

so that's where outsourcing has taken us to? i have to follow obama on this one and buy american, not hellian. besides, i have it on good authority that they use sweat shop labor (kind of their thing) and i have ethical dilemmas with that. really i do. i walk to the rallies in my nikes wearing the latest gap hoody and a pocket full of cheap lead based trinkets.

mcgarbage

well it all lines up perfectly. stopped at the light, open the door and dump your mctrash. well done citizens of toronto, you've beautified the city once again.

barbie washroom

sure, why not have a barbie doll display in a men's washroom. makes perfect sense. i mean, you've got a designer who had a box full of barbies and rather than throwing them away or giving them to people who would actually play with them, they make an art feature that does little more than make the men passing it by shake their head. and such is 'art.'

chalky

people still use chalk. and at a supposedly progressive, technical school at that.

gumballs on the street

poor gumball machine, being kicked to the curb - literally. how unceremonious for it to happen now as he had so much love left to give (ie. gumballs). but when you dispense something you put in your mouth through a device that never gets an internal cleaning and comes out 3 inches above the floor, it shouldn't be questioned.

fallen timbits

timbits are down! i repeat, timbits are down! 

celebrating the canadiens at the acc

maybe you didn't get the memo 80 years ago scotiabank, but montreal isn't really liked around these parts. so to put a hulking image of the canadiens at the very doorstep of the leafs home ice is no way to ingratiate your brand with the city and its hockey fans. minus the 3 other teams featured on other posts, you still had 25 others to choose from (less making an equally big gaffe by putting a senators image up) to make this a reasonably acceptable display. you have failed, miserably so.

rear view deer

a very realitic depiction. carved just as god made them. is there a sexist connotation here? women are always backwards? what's the artist saying?

orange peel

you'd think the homeless person who sits here would keep their area tidy. littering to them is like keeping your house messy. even animals don't shit where they sleep.

discount postering

wow, 10 years of experience making cheap shit posters, plastering them all over places that aren't allowed to have them and charging a fee for doing so. what's remarkable is not this guy's ability to do something anyone with a pre-paid copy card at kinkos, two feet, and a little free time can do, it's that he's been running this scam for 10 years. i'm guessing they're probably also an avon 'business owner', mary kay sales rep and host tupperware parties.

de-posted bike

this is great because not only was the bike mangled, it was ripped from it's post with the post still attached. i can just imagine the 'tink' sound this made as whatever crashed into this popped the rack from the post.

apartment for rent

well, that's how you would speed up the renting process. just put the keys to the place on the ad.

the warrior's diet

right, because the best, most fearsome and effectual warriors stuff themselves full with an overly large portion of fat and msg. not only that, but to equate a warrior with a katana blade to some poor chump with a shovel is even a more giant leap. thirdly, what is so war-some about shoveling anyway? all this makes me believe that the name of this joint should be pronounced suck-iyaki.

payphone overhaul

so there's still payphones out there. i guess it's cheaper to let them go unused and be bacteria farms than remove them. so here's two solutions the fine people at bell had to make people use them more. the first brilliant thing was to double the price. it's no 50 cents to place a local call of limited time. that's a fine way to compete with ubiquitous cell phones, by charging even more than those overpriced things. a good first step. then they went to the expense of retrofitting some of the payphones to now be able to send text messages. this was the first time seeing them for me. a well intentioned effort to have some usefulness and a great alternative to actually having to put your mouth anywhere near the diseased mouthpiece. what if the person wants to respond?

road work cow

this is truly symbolic to me. to equate construction workers with being cows is all too appropriate. both stand around and do very little all day. both are mostly unattractive and dirty. can we say construction workers chew their cud? i'd like to see us as a society continue this classification of public workers according to farm animals. we've got a great start with cops as pigs, and now construction workers as cows. what else can we link?

the court of making me hurt

i participated in a 3-on-3 tournament today on the raptors practice court. overall, a pleasant experience save for the pain i now feel in various parts of my out of shape body. thanks raptors for reminding me how decrepit my body is.

subway glyphs

i see clouds over a man. i take this as the subway trolls telling us that when it rains, take the subway. i also see just random marks on the wall.

yah god

this snowman looks like he really loves god. he's so happy to be perched at the steps of divinity. and then he'll melt. where's your god now snowman?

messy room

oh, i get it. funny, clever. it's the men's room, so we're messy. well, i'm insulted. i can aim.

an evening with kevin smith

there's not many better storytellers out there than kevin smith. the man can weave a tale about poo into something of a fable. and he does. often. a highly entertaining show where a man (and at times his sidekick), who truly enjoys life, has a stage to tell us about it. few people are given the liberty to ramble as he does, but that's all part of the kevin smith ride. the one knock on the show was the audience. people ask some dumb questions and waste the opportunity to hear kevin smith tell us another story.

why no ice?

i applaud a&w for taking a no ice stance. they are protecting their product and delivering a better consumer experience. makes perfect sense. a huge part of their business and brand is in their root beer and if ice makes it not drink it's supposed to be, then good on them for taking the steps - and making it known to everyone that they're looking out for you - to serve the best drink they can.

emergency exit

i suppose if the staircase is engulfed in flames you could haul yourself up to this window sill and crawl out. i realize the seriousness of a fire and the urgency to get the hell out, but fire exits also need a measure of convenience for not everyone is physically able to hoist themselves up to vacate the premises. 

cookie straws

let's try and follow oreo's logic with this one. we start from a place where we dip the cookie in milk because it's "milk's best friend." no one is debating that. then they sit around a boardroom table and say, "well, we want to improve oreo as a milk delivery system, so let's make it more direct by transforming our precious cookie into a straw." i would have been fine if they made this cookie and just called it a different kind of oreo, but calling it a sipper is failure.

"real" vintage wine bottled last year

is anyone fooled by this? are we supposed to think we lucked out and got some vintage that's been sitting in a cellar for so long as to accumulate a sandy coating and discolored label? i'm for aesthetics, but not where you are fraudulent in presentation. aesthetics aside, it's just dirty and grimy and unpleasant to hold or put on a clean tablecloth to serve. wasn't the interesting bottle shape enough?

a less smart car

dear sir/madam. need i remind you that you own a smart car. towing is outside the spec for such a vehicle. well outside. in fact, i would even question the legality of it all. granted, lawn mowers are equipped to tow and this car is little more than one of those with two seats and a little more outer shell. furthermore, is that hitch attached to anything but the plastic bumper, because it looks suspect? i applaud your risk mollification efforts with the spare tire (which comically doesn't even need to be a donut), however, it looks stupid, not to mention negates the use of your hitch. i'm surprised that so much added weight (proportionate to the vehicle) does not make you list to the right