you sunk our bar conversation

board games at bars. great for awkward moments and uncomfortable silences. they lull you into thinking you had a good time, but all you really did was play a hackneyed game to distract yourselves from each other and how you can't fully interact or communicate.

firsts

it could be just the french in me, but the choice is an easy one - butter.

nyc series #5 - big dog has to eat

so there's a guy with the last few dollars to his name, wondering how he's going to make it in this world. he says to himself: "what's the best way to make it in this world and how can these remaining bucks work best for me?" here's the result of that thought process.

nyc series #4 - grandstand to nowhere

here you have some of the most prime real estate in the world, dead in the middle of times square, and there's a grand stand. nevermind that it's just sort of there with no apparent purpose, they've eliminated its potential purpose by sticking a big statue in front of it. facing the opposite way nonetheless so you can't even sit down and gawk at its insignificance (its a statue of someone no one has ever heard of).

nyc series #3 - batman and the nyfd

i like to see cooperation with my public services. so to have the nyfd collaborate openly with batman warms the cockles of my heart.

nyc series #2 - madd spelling

when i passed this, i said to the person i was with: "guaranteed they spelled it differently on the other side." it's fun to be right. maybe this bar is bar is sponsored by m.a.d.d. because they love their double d's. who doesn't love double d's?

nyc series #1 - seating area

perhaps it's not a good idea to sit there. some might call this a gentle nudge to say "don't plant your ass here."

621A

i'm all for blind access, but this just isn't functional. i mean, it's a small nameplate, in a non-standard place that unless you know precisely where it is, having brail serves no purpose to a blind person because they can't locate it to read with their fingers.

dish lovers

how's your patio? use it much? looks like a fine place to entertain a few guests. clear, view, lots of room, neighbor's cat somewhere nearby. a real selling feature too if you wanted to put the place up.

future bag boy

sure, it's cute and all when you're carrying a tiny plastic bag while your kid pulls your luggage that's the same size as him. good training mommy.

scaling to pain

toy companies are getting better and better at coming up with new playground equipment to hurt kids. it's surprising given how coddled kids are and the litigious age we live in that this even made it to a playground. why not give them a version of a skilled activity adults are challenged with and often hurt themselves doing. one notable area of failure on this one is what do the kids do when they get to the top? adults have the rope to descend with, so do the kids just fall or are they expected to shimmy back down on the faux rocks?

running for a&w

someone so serious about running shouldn't be at an a&w. or is it a post-run treat destroying all the hard work she just put in?

guest post: lazy britney

so i attended the britney spears concert on wednesday and as you can see this is not a picture of b-spears herself but her opening act "the pussy cat dolls". The show its self was very entertaining thanks to spears back up dancers and the circus characters involved in the show. but how does brit feel about her opening act? because i feel they almost out did her....

1. they were actually singing (well the hot nicole girl was)
2. they actually interacted with the crowd
3. they looked like they we enjoying themselves.

throughout, britney spears' show there was an outstanding number of tricks and entertaining circus performers... spears not being one of them but adding to the circus by strutting her stuff back and forth from the stage. in conclusion britney is only half back and i hope by the last date of this tour her enthusiasm will increase.

IT'S BRITNEY BITCH!

amy's secret

call it my particular lens, but when i saw this picture on the superficial, it made me laugh. it's brilliant right? you do see it? okay, let me explain. the title of the post is 'amy adams is a lady', the picture shows an extravagantly long devil's penis emerging from her pants and the sly grin like she knows the tool she's got. you get it now, right? yeah.

the 23rd floor

that 23rd floor must be important. why on earth are there two buttons to get you there? maybe it's like some real world horror movie where office workers somehow sneak onto the special 23rd floor. mind controlling experiments are happening and they unwittingly unleash some techno-virus. the whole building gets quarantined as the occupants continue to mutate and wreak havoc on the uninfected. in the end what brings them down is discharging a fire extinguisher on them. so people scramble from floor to inadequately equipped with fire extinguishers floor trying to kill them off.

cactus ptach

for the life of me i don't know why any one in toronto (all of canada for that matter) would bother to have a cactus patch in their garden. it just doesn't make sense, anytime of the year really. on another note, this reminded me of my days in tennessee where cactus was native. there was a time i was riding a horse and got bucked off into a rock outcropping with cactus growing, not onlike the kind seen here, just bigger. yeah, that was a fun outing. perhaps even the last time i rode a horse. 

four spots on a bench

i find this odd at first glance because you would initially picture it as the opposite - that the bench would weather around people sitting on it. but that would mean that the people never move thorugh all the weather. this makes a little more sense in that the places where people sit has the weathering because it rubs off the paint. 

car-nage

that is a lot of post-crash debris. i thought they had crews that cleaned this up? it must have been some mash-up because that is an abundance of finely ground plastic parts.

orange cactus

a cactus is a good decision as your plant outside the door of your condo unit. you can ignore it all you want and it's still pretty, live decoration. a good choice i say.

jelly deluge

i like jelly in my donut as much as the next guy, but it doesn't need to be this much. this is probably 2-3 donuts worth of jelly.

all stir fried up

it has been some time since this house has seen so many vegetables at one time. hell, maybe even cumulatively. of all the pretty colors, it's still brown that is my favorite.

dalton foo

clever of the restaurant to rename the taxes from pst to dalton foo gst to harper tax. i'd like to hope that leaving it as foo was intentional and not cutting short food tax, then the restaurant would be cool and not just lame.

guest post: human heap

since i can't be everywhere to catch the folly of humanity, i'll rely on guest posters to cover me outside of my very small universe. thanks samar for the picture and blurb.

how much could somebody really hate the mornings? this much..... i mean i thought i was crabby and hated everyone in the mornings, but this girl (and it is a girl...you can't tell in the pic but it is) went so far as tucking her knees and head into a sweater and some how zipping the entire sweater up and over her body and head. she not only weirded me out but the entire subway cart was staring at her. not that she would notice, i didn't even need to take the flash off my camera to take this. could her world really suck that bad?

death by the big O

isn't that how most people say they want to go out - with a bang, as it were? i won't be so presumptuous as to assume it was a man who instigated this, but whatever gender it happened to be, is one hell of good boinker. of course, i say this without having read the article to know if it was some medical condition that was the cause (i have to make these very hard decisions on when to live in ignorance). but, if they gave her an orgasm, they did something right.

atheism on the go

ahh yes, the much publicized atheist ads on our fine transit system. what kind of fence sitting atheists are these? atheism rejects the existence of deities, yet these weaklings of belief state 'there's probably no god.' not outright saying 'no god' just 'probably no god.' well, i reject your mild-mannered brand of atheism. just because you can't prove or disprove god's existence, doesn't mean you can't take a stance of ignorance and proclaim your view upon high. hell, countries and religions are built on that shifting sand.

kids on the court

half time at the raptors game provided some ball playing to shame the home team. some youths were granted the privilege of playing on the court and showed a hustle, and love for the game unseen in toronto for some time.

mystery chips

when has unidentified food been appealing? there's a reason they're called hot dogs; because 'unidentified meat' doesn't sell. so why should this? doritos is fairly safe, but there's still flavors i don't eat. like the disgusting blue cheese. boy would i feel cheated to have paid for those. now that i think about this, it's actually genius. here's a great way to sell all those unwanted flavors. bait and switch wrapped up with a dollar sign.

chrome thing

it looks like a tire rim, but i don't think it is (tapered and round back). it looks like a sink, but i don't think it is. so what the hell is it?

suit soaker-upper

now that is innovation. the suit i just bought had these little maxi-pads right under the armpit for that little bit of extra protection. it's the little things, right?

me and levar

yep, that's me and levar burton in the flesh. if you don't know who levar is, he's mainly known for playing kunta kinte in roots, lt. cmdr. geordi laforge in star trek: tng, and kwame on captain planet. levar was in town doing an interview with strombo for the hour. he sent a mesage out on twitter calling for an impromptu tweetup at hemingways. being only a few blocks away, i couldn't say no. levar was nothing but affable, approachable, and gracious. it was truly a pleasure to meet him. i only got a second of his time to which i asked him "what's next for you levar?" he said, "it's coming. soon." i look forward to seeing whatever he's got in the works.

sayonara smilin jacks

thank goodness. there goes smilin jacks, a smilin blight on the community. where any day in the summer you can see true pillars of the community littering the makeshift patio. whatever is the fine p.w.t. gentleman who lives with his mom (he's at least 35) two doors down from me going to do for a pint?